With Sock Drawer Heroes. (How much do trans men spend on their underwear?)
From your top to your toes, there’s a product to fix that.
Your breasts are ugly – $22 per roll
Tape them down with 4 inch Mixtape. It’s like duct tape or strapping tape, but comes in fleshtones. You tape it over your breasts. Yes it is painful to remove.
Your breasts are super-ugly – $84
Flatten them in style with the New York Toy Collective Short Binder in white. Because it is a tight-fitting polyester garment, you might develop a nice fungal infection. This might be why the SDH binding guide suggests giving yourself a break after 8 hours continuous binding. Or possibly it’s because of the possible “pain, discomfort, dizziness or shortness of breath” you might experience from a compressed chest.
You’re inadequate in the pants department – $108
Since you don’t have a penis, you need a specialist consumer item to get that authentic crotch bulge. Pack your pants with a little soft silicone penis and testicles.
The New York Toy Collective’s Sam model isn’t just for packing, it is an STP. That’s Stand to Pee. It has a big hole in the top and a small hole at the bottom for urine to flow through. Presumably you can wrap your vulva around it somehow. Get one in a fun colour!
You can’t get a hard on – $48
With the STP insert, you can definitely get a 5 inch semi-rigid crotch bulge.
Somewhere to park it – $76
SpareParts Pete Trunk Packing Underwear are the perfect place to park the 5 inch silicone penis. But only if you take out the stiffening rod.
Put the flaccid packer into these pants and feel the bugle. Keep the insert in your pocket in case you need to quickly pop off to the loos, strip off, insert the rod and pop back out again to demonstrate that you are aroused.
Keep it together – $46
Your packer might get lint on it, or jiggle about in your undies leading to an untidy look. Keep it clean and secure with a specialised magnetic pouch.
Keep it clean – $14
Good times packer cleaner. Special spray for a special daily cleaning chore.
It’s travelling south – $54
The New York Toy Collective STP/Packer Strap keeps your mock penis in place. It only requires you to wear a number of straps around your crotch and bum in order to harness it in an up or down position. Versatile. Instead of feeling free about your body, feel paranoid that someone will spot the straps cutting into your thighs.
Don’t get menstrual blood on that new packer! – $40
Menstrual Cups. No mention or concern about using a cup with the vaginal atrophy associated with testosterone therapy.
But there is some concern about gendered packaging on menstrual products.
Tell people that you are proud to have a fake penis – $38
Now that you’ve gone to a lot of effort to create an authentic prosthetic bulge and conceal your breasts, let the world know! Buy a t-shirt telling other girls that you got all this kit at Sock Drawer Heroes.
But wait, there’s more!
- Books – around $30 each
- Stickers, badges, cosmetic cases, keyrings – up to $36
- Lube – around $20
- Clitoral pump – $62
- Other vibes and toys – $50 – $300
Don’t forget little sister!
- Junior packer – suitable for people under 5 feet tall – $78
- Joey Packer Pouch Junior – $40
- And something for little brother too – Tuck Biddies Unicorn Tucking undies – $38
And something for Dad
- Tucking “lingerie” – $50
- Lace bras – $62
- Vaginal dilators – $119
- Tape $22
- Binder $84
- Packer $108
- Stiffener for packer $48
- Special undies $76
- Packer pouch $46
- Packer spray $14
- Packer harness $54
- Gender-neutral menstrual cup $40
- Becoming a human billboard $38
Getting read for your day: $530
Crying in the toilets because your packer got snagged in your pubes. Priceless.
Make no mistake, you are a product, your body is a market place
When you buy these products, you are also creating a product. The trans man, a man constructed of tape and silicone and a hope that no one grabs for the packer. No breast can be perfectly flattened. No penis can be crafted from thin air. Every single product creates more products to fill the little gaps between desire and reality.
There are endless products for you to buy.